mosker

If only Kansas City were closer to Sacramento

I would love to be closer to my family (who live near Sacramento) without giving up my friends or job here.

Let's just leave the Midwestern humidity where it is though.

Prophetic

I had the television on in the background while doing some research on my computer, and looked up just in time to see the name of the law enforcement officer speaking on screen:

Deputy Chad Sheriff

Can you imagine trying to complain about, or commend, that deputy? That would sound just like a repeat of Who's on first...

They DO travel in herds!

I guess some people think the news business is exciting, but seeing these guys around town makes me wonder if it isn't actually really, really boring. They're told to drive somewhere in the city to set up their equipment, often in the bitter cold or sweltering heat, and wait for something to happen. Can you imagine that conversation: "Bob, go out there and try to get some footage of him walking to his car."

I think I'll stick with my day job.

What to do, what to do...

I know this is probably a universal problem, but I feel like I can never get a handle on my to-do lists. No doubt I create much of the problem for myself by being overly ambitious when planning what I think I can, or should, accomplish, but at the end of the day I usually feel like I should have done more. When I take an honest look at how I spend my time, I realize that I spend far too much of my free time watching television. It's just that it's so easy to watch a few minutes of news when I get home, and then discover that I've been meaning to get up for the past hour (or more). When I got home yesterday I had a bit of a dialog with myself about the matter. On the one hand, I could try to not watch television for a week or so, but then I immediately began amending the goal. After all, why should I go without the news in the morning? And Friday evenings? Why should I worry about accomplishing anything on Friday evenings when I'm home? That's for relaxing, right? And Sunday mornings, I like to watch Reliable Sources on CNN. That's a newsy program, so that should be okay too, right? Oh, oh, and what about...

Okay, maybe I haven't gotten this all worked out yet after all.

The End

(This won't make sense without sound)

Clean desk, sick mind?

A clean desk may be the sign of a sick mind, but it sure feels good while it lasts.

Liability

Several years ago my car was vandalized. I got up on a Sunday morning, took the trash to the dumpster, and saw a bunch a rocks from the retaining wall around the car, before I finally understood that my car had been attacked. Several windows were gouged, as were the roof, left side and rear quarterpanel, rear, and right rear quarterpanel. The car was still perfectly drivable, but as it was only a couple years old, I couldn't help but feeling upset. Adding insult to injury, I had only gotten the car back from the garage a few days earlier--they had been repairing damage done by the thief who smashed the window and hacked up my dashboard and console to steal my radio. I called the police, and as the officer filed the report she asked if I had angered anyone. Could someone have been seeking retribution for something? Not that I could think of, but I couldn't help feeling just a bit paranoid after that.

Later that day (the Sunday afternoon), the vandals returned, apparently emboldened by having gotten away with the attack on my car, and attacked several other vehicles in the parking lot. The officer who responded to that incident did some investigation and discovered that the vandals were 7 and 9 year old brothers who'd had a bit of a lark. I admit to feeling relieved that I had not been intentionally targeted, but though the boys admitted their guilt, the officer told me that the parents were not responsible for restitution to the victims. My insurance covered most of the repairs, but between that and the theft a few weeks earlier, my insurance company dropped my policy.

It's not hard to argue that, morally at least, the parents were responsible for the actions of their children. 7 and 9 year old children should not be allowed to run around an apartment complex unsupervised. The world is not a safe place for a child alone, and they do not have the experience to make appropriate choices.

If you were to argue that parents are financially responsible for damages caused by their minor children, at what age does that responsibility cease? A 7-year old probably doesn't spend much time running loose (at least I hope not), but what about a 16-year old with a driver's license? I'm guessing they're doing a number of things that Mom and Dad don't know about. Should the parents have to pay for damage they could not have reasonably known about and therefore prevented?

What do you think?

Police Blotter

This item appeared on the campus police blotter recently:

4:30 p.m. Larceny - A student reported that her vehicle parked on the Hospital Hill campus at 25th and Holmes was broken into between 7:30 and 4:15 p.m. Her wedding ring, cell phone and CDs were taken.

I must confess when I read this I imagined the scene when she explained to her husband why she'd shucked her wedding band for class.

Things that make me giggle

When you shop for bras in a department store, take your purchases to a male cashier. It doesn't matter if you are young or old, beautiful or less-appealing, slender or plush. You can watch the waves of panic wash over him as he realizes that he will have to pick up each item of ladies underwear, ring it up, ask if you want to keep the hangers, and bag it, all without having any thoughts about the fact that there is a woman standing in front of him and he is touching her underwear.

Ramsey investigation

There was breaking news in the Ramsey case yesterday as authorities announced the arrest of a suspect: John Mark Karr. Karr is a 41-year old white male; an American living in Thailand and teaching second grade. Initial media reports indicate that he offered a confession that included details of the crime not known to the public, which sounds pretty incriminating. Obviously I don't have any details about what he said, but I did watch the footage of Karr when authorities in Thailand paraded him in front of television cameras. On camera, Karr said that he killed JonBenet--he loved her, he says, and killed her accidentally, but the whole thing was very strange. His televised statements were exceedingly vague about the details.

The pundits are debating the case on the cable news--some are arguing that he probably didn't do it as there was no prior history of violence in the suspect's background, but until David Westerfield was convicted of Danielle VanDamm's abduction and murder, neither did he.

Karr reportedly fled a California jurisdiction in the midst of child pornography charges, and his ex-wife (whom he married when she was 16 and he was 24) describes him as child obsessed and inappropriately affectionate with children. It isn't a stretch to believe this would be the kind of person who would commit this crime, but it is also plausible that he is an attention-seeker who has just managed to gain worldwide notoriety.

Thank you notes

I don't know if I didn't get many gifts when I was a kid or if I was just particularly unappreciative, but I don't remember sending thank you notes when I was growing up. I find them terribly intimidating to write. I struggle to find the perfect words to properly express what I wish to say without sounding trite. Thank you for the pretty doll that cries and drinks water from a bottle doesn't really work...mostly because no one gives me pretty dolls, or even ugly dolls for that matter. And the fact is, most of the time it isn't really the specific item that the gift-giver presented that is truely important. What I really want to say is thank you so much for caring enough about me that you wanted to commemorate whatever occasion that prompted the gift. Thank you for being my friend even when you're not giving me gifts. I can never quite find the words that express that sentiment, however, so I end up putting off the task and then feeling mortified because I haven't acknowledged the gift.

I have these friends who not only send thank you notes, they also send them promptly, and they always say just the right thing. I've decided to look to them as my inspiration and turn over a new leaf. Sending them...the saying the right thing part is going to take more work.

Just, please don't complain if you can't read my handwriting.

Marketing cars

Once upon a time, car dealerships would prop up the hoods of cars that were on display. I suspect that was done to reduce the number of greasy smears left by potential car buyers. After all, an examination under the hood is absolutely required of car shoppers, even if they have no idea what they are looking at, isn't it?

I've got to be honest here: I don't look under the hood before I buy a car. I test drive it, so I know it has an engine, but I refuse to pretend that looking at the various parts and pieces will tell me something the specifications did not.

Times have changed though, because now the fad seems to be leaving the tailgate on SUVs open. What's the thinking here? Am I supposed to drive by, see the tailgate open and exclaim "What a sexy hatchback! I have got to get me one of those!" Or maybe it's about the cargo space: Oh, honey. Look! We could carry all the kids, your golf clubs, and the dog!

I must be getting old.

I don't think so

The next time I shop for appliances, I might consider a feature like an ice-cube maker, or even water in the door. But a washer and dryer that nag me? I don't think so.

Consumers are testing appliances that are connected to the Internet and can alert them that their load of laundry is done or that the lint filter needs to be cleaned. How is that useful? All you have to do is clean the lint filter every time you run the dryer, and you're in great shape. If I don't hear the dryer turn off, I can just look at the clock and know that it's about time to pull the clothes out.

Creating new gadgets just for the sake of being high tech is not practical. They need to serve a purpose, like saving time, energy, or just do a better job than a person would do. When you create a laundry system that sorts the clothes (correctly), loads the washer, transfers them to the dryer, and then folds and puts the laundry away, let me know. Otherwise it's just more stuff.

How about inventing a clothing inventory system that alerts me the night before that I need to wash a load of clothes? Now that would be helpful.

CNN story

It is true...Suzanne has always been more comfortable in social situations

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have low extroversion. You are quiet and reserved in most social situations. A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you. You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have low neuroticism. You are very emotionally stable and mentally together. Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly. Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is medium. You are generally broad minded when it come to new things. But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it. You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Telephone poll

The phone rang a few minutes after I got home this evening and the caller ID reported "private caller". Normally I just ignore calls when the number is blocked, but this time I threw caution to the wind and picked it up.

Him: "May I speak to mosker?" Okay, okay, he didn't say mosker, but you get the point.

Me: "Who's calling?"

Him: "Ricky."

Me: "Ricky? And you're with?"

Him: "Is this mosker?"

Me: "That depends on who you are."

Him: "Oh, yes. I'm conducting a poll. This should only take about thirty seconds--may I ask you a question?"

Me: "You may ask."

Him: Chuckles. (Apparently he thought I was kidding.)

He proceeded to give the party line about a piece of legislation pending in Missouri at full-speed in a manner that quite obviously suggested the answer they wanted hear, then asked if the election were held today, would I vote for or against it.

Me: "I don't know enough about it to give an opinion."

Him: "oh."

They want me to offer opinions on issues about which I have almost no information? Who do they think I am, a politician?

Swiss Army Knives

Have you looked at Swiss Army Knives recently? I remember them as cool little tools with a couple of folding blades, maybe scissors, with the trademark red cover.

Boy, have times changed. I did an Amazon search this evening and was amazed by the selection available. The single blade folding knife is still available, but you can also get tools like magnifying lenses, flashlights, pliers, and tiny screwdrivers. That is, of course, in addition to can openers, files, tweezers, and corkscrews. Really, how can you choose? And how many tools can you pack into a little package before it is too heavy to carry in your pocket or easily pry open to use?

Here are a couple of the cool ones I've never seen before:

Swiss Army Deluxe Tinker

Swiss Army CyberTool 41

Seriously--how cool is that? I'm thinking that I need to choose a couple for my Amazon wish list. When Christmas rolls around, all those wonderful people looking for the perfect gift for me will pick those over the incredibly geeky books I have listed.

Sobriety test

Thus say Suzanne...

Is the dance routine standard in field sobriety tests? 

Tunnel driving...

Thus says Suzanne...

Yikes!!!  Where did these people learn to drive?

Amy and Joey

Thus says Suzanne...

What kind of person came up with the plan to get these two together for an on-camera interview?  Certainly Amy's life was derailed by this man.  And Joey Buttface continues after all these years to deny being a scumbag. 

A full life

CNN.com has a report about a medical professor who died when a crocodile dragged him from a canoe. He was taking a wildlife tour on the Limpopo River in Botswana when the croc rose out of the water and grabbed him. It sounds like something out of horror movie, but the rest of the report is what really touched me.

This man was 68 years old, with three sons and eight grandchildren. He had suffered through some hard times, including bypass surgery, depression, and nursing his wife through a long illness until her death in 2001. Last year he remarried, and they moved to Botswana. He was a specialist in infectious diseases and was training medical technicians to help relieve the shortage of doctors. His son reports that the doctor worked in Iran in the 1970s.

I am in no way making light of this man's death--what a horrible way to die. I can't help but think though, that this is a man who did not have to say "oh, I wish I'd done (whatever) before I died."

Scattershot

Now that I'm back to work after a week's vacation, I feel like I've been working 16 or 18 hour days instead of just 9 or 10. I really don't have to work that long, but sometimes the most productive hour of the day comes after everyone else has gone for the day. The phone rings less, the office is quiet, and I can concentrate. I just need the day to be a few hours longer so I can make a dent.

New gadgets (but not for me): This afternoon I started configuring an ultra-portable laptop (a Toshiba LifeBook P7000 series). They aren't kidding about it being light--I'd guess well under 5 pounds, and the display is really sharp. It has a modular bay like my Dell, meaning you pull out the optical drive (DVD drive) and replace it with an extra battery for extended battery life, but I don't know if I'd want to work with a display that small (10.5"). These two notebooks, however, each have a minor defect in the display--one pixel doesn't work. No, it's not that big a deal, but once someone points it out, it's hard to ignore.

And from the "I had no idea it was so hard find an apartment in New York" file: A husband and wife buy a house together. When they get divorced, he stays in the house, but they remain co-owners of the property. His new girlfriend moves in with him, but then they break up, and she won't move out. The guy then enlists the help of his ex-wife to try to throw the ex-girlfriend out with an eviction notice. The ex-girlfriend can't be evicted because she never paid rent. The guy is trying a different tactic now and the case is scheduled to go to trial. It's over already, move out. That's just creepy. (link)

It would be better if he stopped talking now: Poor Scott Stapp--somebody is picking on him. He's trying to concentrate on his new bride and his solo career, and someone has released a tape of he and Kid Rock, uh, "cavorting" with female fans. Rock and one of the female participants are separately arguing that Stapp is trying to get publicity, while Stapp claims that someone is trying to embarrass him. Hello?! He taped himself particpating in a group sex scene, and neither secured nor destroyed the video. What a dufus. (link)

My eyes! My eyes! Starbucks has a line of coffee cups with quotes from a variety of authors that the company says doesn't necessarily represent the views of the company, but is intended to stimulate conversation. It's apparently worked. At least, people are talking about the reactions of officials at Bob Jones University and Baylor University to one of the quotes, attributed to Armistead Maupin. BJU has cancelled it's contract with Starbucks, while Baylor has asked the Starbucks locations on campus to stop distributing those cups. (For the record, Baylor's library carries items by the author whose quote was so offensive.) Remember, it's very important to shield young minds from dangerous quotes printed on coffee cups. What's the world coming to when children are exposed to new ideas at college?

They win...

Thus says Suzanne...

I've made no secret of my gleeful anticipation of IKEA's new store in Sacramento, even going so far as to arrange to have that day off in order to attend the grand opening.  I felt that might have been a little over the top but I have buckets of vacation time saved and figured what the heck, why not?  Alas, I've learned that I am not the biggest IKEA fan in the region.  There are two men camped out at the store already (still 18 days away from the grand opening), a local man and one from the east coast.  Can we agree that is a little nutty?  Evidently the first three folks in line get gift cards for the store...$3000, $2000 and $1000 respectively.  As of yet the $1000 card is unclaimed. 

Is it spring yet?

Thus says Suzanne...

Mother Nature is trying to fake me out, I just know it!  Yesterday I spied two open blossoms on my plum tree, and the first hummingbird of the season showed up for a drink and a bath at the fountain.  We haven't had rain in almost a week, and the sun has been out in the afternoon.  I'm oh-so-tempted to scrub the patio furniture and set out the cushions/rugs/tablecloth/candles but I'm afraid it will jinx the great weather we're having (kind of like when you wash your car and it immediately begins to rain).  Dare I risk it?  It sure would be nice to have an inviting place to hang out in the afternoons when the sun is out.

And in unrelated news, the new IKEA store opens in West Sacramento on March 1st so I'm beginning the countdown!  I love this store so much (but tired of spending hours on the road to get to the one in San Francisco) that I arranged to take that day off so that I could go to the grand opening.  Twenty days and counting!  (Mosker is not as excited about this as I am.)

Gasp! I'm soooooooo shocked!!!

(Thus says Suzanne)

You'll have to forgive the sarcasm, I just couldn't help myself!  Remember back in April when we learned of Britney's pregnancy?  I suggested we have a moment of silence for the child and his fate.  I asked if anyone cared to guess if they would still be married by the time the baby arrived.  Well, evidently Brit has had enough and has consulted a divorce attorney.  Reportedly Brit took umbrage that KFed showed up with some pot-smoking friend when the baby was there.  So, what, it's okay as long as the baby isn't there?  What, she thought he was a stand-up guy?  (He left tread marks in his haste to ditch his previous squeeze, the mother of his two other children, in favor of Brit's bank account.)  It's not rocket science...well maybe it is if you are brain-challenged white trash with more money than sense.  Frankly, these two deserved each other but the child deserves better.

Anyone care to guess how many minutes, hours, or days it will be before we are subjected to the details of the next Federline spawning?

My favorite brother

My favorite brother called today. I have only one brother and one sister, so it's easy for Suzanne and I to pick our favorite brother and sister. I don't get hear from him often, as he's very busy. He called today because he found out that Suzanne got DSL and he's quite interested in getting broadband for such an affordable price. Unfortunately, I had to tell him that DSL isn't yet available where he lives.

Somehow we got on the subject of BLOGS. I have to write it like that because that's how he writes it, like an acronym. He's rather disdainful of BLOGS, which I find interesting, because he's an English major pursuing his teaching certificate. Sure, there are plenty of poorly written blogs out there, but there are also many well written, thoughtful sites. I would think that an English teacher would happily encourage writing projects, even if they simply provide an outlet for the author to write about themselves and their lives. Can't the act of writing, in and of itself, provide valuable intellectual stimulation?

He did comment that he'd heard that my BLOG is almost like a real website now. I must borrow a line from Bones, and say "I don't know what that means." What, pray tell, is a "real" website?

And BLOGS do provide busy people a convenient way to keep up with friends and family. After all, reading a BLOG means never having to ask "Is this going to be a long story?"

This is hard work

I have a new found respect for transcriptionists.

It's not that I denied the complexity of the task with which they are faced on a daily basis, but it's not until you try it yourself that you start to understand. Granted, transcriptionists have some handy equipment that allows them to more easily pause, slow, and rewind their recordings, but they are listening to people they don't know, who may or may not speak English well, talking about complex technical terms.

I am trying to transcribe two interviews that I conducted with native English speakers.

This is going to take all night.

Ick, not Eeek

How would you feel if everyone called you by the wrong name?

For example, if your name is Mary, and someone pronounced it Marie, you might chalk it up to a quirk or a cultural difference. It might even grow into almost an inside joke, or sentimental exchange that this particular person mispronounces your name. But what about if everyone started calling you Marie? How would that feel?

Or take my sister's name, Suzanne. It's a great name and suits her perfectly. I would never call her Sue or Suzy or even Susan. Her name is Suzanne. Sue, Suzy, and Susan are other people--not my sister.

My name is Dominique. While the traditional pronunciation for "Dominique" is dom-in-eek, my parents chose to pronounce it dom-i-nick. That is who I am: dom-i-nick. I am not dom-in-eek. Dom-in-eek is someone else.

My family, the Tarts, and a handful of other people know how to say my name, but no matter how many times I offer the correct (or if you'd rather, preferred) pronunciation, most people insist on saying EEEK, as though I am too stupid to know better. It would be disingenuous of me to pretend I don't know of whom they are speaking, and it is pointless to constantly correct those people--they either don't listen or can't be bothered to remember.

When people call you by the wrong name all of the time, you can feel almost invisible, like a fixture that is necessary, but interchangeable and replaceable. Anonymous. I am not that other person.

People's names are important, and as much a part of their identity as the shape of their face, the color of their eyes, and the sound of their voice. It's about respect. If someone takes the time to correct you when you say their name, pay attention.

And while we're on the subject, don't sing the flying nun song when you hear my name. You just look  ridiculous and make everyone embarrassed for you.

I hate it when that happens

Oh, I hate it when that happens...I closed the wrong tab and killed my post. That is darned annoying. If I do it again I'll have to elevate the category of the post from 'musing' to 'ranting.' It has been that kind of week.

I would love to tell you all about it, but I didn't choose 'ranting' as a category for a reason. Sometimes ranting publicly is not the best choice. Associating with other people has its ups and downs. We get the opportunity to exchange ideas and come up with better solutions than we might have on our own, but it also means we have to put up with other peoples' foibles (as they do with ours). Sometimes you have to spend, say, 2 hours and 45 minutes every week with a person or persons you would not otherwise choose to spend time with. Sometimes you have to suffer from some else's case of diarrhea of the mouth. Or sometimes you have to sit in a waiting room where the powers that be choose to pipe in a radio station that isn't properly tuned, so you hear equal parts music and static. And sometimes you just feel incredibly bogged down because you lose sight of whatever motivated you to set whatever goal you're chasing.

I'm so glad it's the weekend. I have lots to do, of course, but it is so nice to have a little bit of quiet to think my own thoughts.

Preparedness

Katrina has probably gotten a lot of people thinking about their own preparedness for disaster (and rightly so). Flooding is not a major concern in my neck of the woods, but every few years there is an ice storm that knocks out the power for days and fallen tree limbs have been known to trap people in their homes.

While I do have some bottled water on hand, I don't have a way to heat the house when the power is out, and I haven't given a lot of thought to emergency food supplies (yet).

Whether you are riding out a winter storm or evacuating your home, what supplies would you like to have available? Have you given more thought to your own level of preparedness in light of Katrina?

National Guard in New Orleans

Assisting in times of disaster is one of the important duties of the National Guard. The Governor of Louisiana has requested, and been told they will receive, 40,000 troops in their state, many of whom will be deployed to the City of New Orleans with peacekeeping, or order-maintenance responsibilities.

"They have M-16s and they're locked and loaded," Gov. Kathleen Blanco said of 300 National Guard troops who landed in New Orleans fresh from duty in Iraq. "These troops know how to shoot and kill, and they are more than willing to do so, and I expect they will." (link)

The lawlessness in the city has disrupted evacuations, supply distribution, attempts to fill the breaches in the levee, and overwhelmed police resources in the city:

Col. Henry Whitehorn, chief of the Louisiana State Police, said he heard of numerous instances of New Orleans police officers — many of whom from flooded areas — turning in their badges.

"They indicated that they had lost everything and didn't feel that it was worth them going back to take fire from looters and losing their lives," Whitehorn said. (link)

Order cannot be restored without the deployement of National Guard troops, but we must understand that a simple show of force will not be sufficient to stop the armed bands that are marauding the streets of New Orleans, sniping at rescue helicopters, and assaulting desperate survivors. Americans are demanding that something be done to stop these hooligans. Will the public and the politicians continue to support armed military action after the media begins airing footage of soldiers returning fire? Or when we see images of families greiving over the loss of their young men--looter and soldier alike? Does the nation understand what will be required to restore order to the disaster area that is New Orleans?

news

I am transfixed by the news coverage of Katrina's aftermath. I cannot personally provide the storm's victims any material comfort, but I feel strongly that it deserves my attention. I know people who have no interest in following the news reagrdless of if it is a quiet news cycle or a major disaster. I don't understand that.

The most frequent argument for the lack of interest seems to be that "it's all bad news." I, too, am disheartened by the reports and video of looters running unimpeded in the streets of New Orleans, but that is juxastaposed against the tireless work of rescuers. Coast Guard divers dangle from helicopters by a cable so they might guide stranded people into retrieval baskets. Civilian rescuers who've spend hours in boats, moving from house to house, are rewarded with grateful handshakes from residents who might have otherwise drowned in their attics.

I agree reporters often ask ridiculous and insensitive questions. Personally, I think the appropriate response to "How do you feel about your house being destroyed?" is a slap upside the questioner's head. (On camera and live, of course.) I have not, however, witnessed that kind of brainless coverage with this tragedy. I was particularly moved by Jeanne Meserve's reporting last night on CNN. She provided a heartrending description of hearing the cries of people and animals trapped by the flood waters who could not be reached before nightfall. She attempted no pretense of impartiality.

I believe that societies are strengthened by sharing experiences, both good and bad, in the same way families bond through their shared history. Growing up, I remember people talking about where they were when Kennedy was shot, and it was obvious that relating their respective recollections made them feel closer. I was not alive when JFK died, but I've since built my own store of memories in common with my friends and family and society-at-large. I remember learning that Reagan, and then the Pope, had been shot, I remember hearing the O.J. Simpson verdict as it was read, I remember seeing Mark McGwire hit homerun number 62, and I remember watching the twin towers crumble. All these incidents become part of our cultural history and form the fabric of our society. I'm not suggesting everyone should care about homerun records or the criminal trials of celebrity defendants, but if you never watch the news, if you never know what is happening, how will you be prepared to participate in society?

Where should you park?

This is one of those silly things that I've always wondered what is "correct": Where should you park when you visit a friend? Obviously this question only applies for those who have off-street parking. Do you park in their driveway?

I have an enormous driveway which can accommodate several cars (a fact I rue every time it snows), and typically no one parks on the street. My guests almost always correctly assume that they can park in the drive. I have friends, though, with a driveway that only accommodates one car (side-to-side), and although I typically park there, I always wonder if I'm doing the right thing. I would ask, but because they are exceptionally kind people, I suspect they wouldn't complain even if they minded. So how is one to know?

And while I'm on the subject, what about taking a gift to the host and/or hostess? I always ask if I can bring anything. If they say no, I sometimes bring a bottle of wine (if they drink wine) with the expectation that it is a gift they will consume (or re-gift) at their leisure. I never presume they will open it right away. My brother, however, tells me that when one brings a bottle of wine, the host is expected to open and share it right away. That could irritate the host, especially when they have gone to some trouble to coordinate the meal. (I know I've gotten irritated when a carefully planned dinner unexpectedly turned into a potluck meal.)

Is there a right answer? Does it make a difference if you explicitly tell the host that the wine is a gift? Should you always tell your guests where to park?

Missouri roads

It feels redundant to complain about the poor condition of Missouri's roads...aren't "Missouri roads" and "horrible condition" listed as synonyms in the dictionary? Missouri voters passed a road bill last November that is intended to remedy the situation, and "progress" signs have been popping up informing drivers that a given stretch of road is slated for repair by Spring 2006 or 2007. Yeah. I'm holding my breath.

I'm beginning to think they should leave bad enough alone. A stretch of highway near my home was recently repaved. That's actually an exaggeration, because they have repaved some segments while leaving others graded. The areas they repaved are, believe it or not, worse than before. Before they started work, drivers simply had to dodge potholes. Now there are ridges that run across the width of the road. What's that about? It's like the guy on the steamroller couldn't be bothered to go the whole length of the road and just let ridges build up as he went back in forth in the same place.

Do you suppose Missouri is getting a kickback from tire manufacturers?

Our tax dollars at work.

sandbox fortresses and matchbox cars

My dad was in the service when I was a kid, so we moved around a lot. One of the buildings where we lived in Germany (base housing at Zweibrucken Air Force Base, Building 24) had a sandbox in the front yard. It was really, really big and had concrete walls and a concrete floor.

The really, really big could be an exaggeration...everything is big to a 7 year-old.

The sandbox was one of my favorite places to play, because it was like the great equalizer. It didn't matter that you were younger than everyone else, and therefore less coordinated, and sooo much slower. (You don't want to play marbles for keeps with kids 4 or 5 years older than you. You'll go home empty-handed everytime.) The sandbox was different than other games. We were all in there together, but it wasn't a competition. Everyone staked out an area on the concrete wall (and into the grass) and built the perfect houses for their matchbox cars. I knew that houses were really for people, but even the matchbox cars with doors that opened didn't have little people to take out of the cars, so we built the houses for the cars. There were intricate roadways and driveways, multiple entrances and exits, and varied terrain.

Every once in a while so a parent decided that we shouldn't have so much sand in the grass outside the sandbox and told their kid to kick it all back in. Parents. What do they know anyway? We just rebuilt our masterpieces the next time.

I saw a house the other day with an asphalt driveway that wrapped around either side of a tree on the way to the garage. I got a long look as I waited for the light to change and thought about how that would be a great matchbox car driveway.

reflecting

Someone close to me suffered a loss recently. As is often the case, there is little comfort to offer except a willingness to talk and to listen. Something she said several days ago struck me, and I've been thinking about it ever since. She said that even as much pain as she feels, she would rather suffer that pain than not have experienced the relationship.

It was almost as though my life flashed before my eyes--relationships quickly sorted themselves into "worth the pain" and "more damage than benefit". I don't mean the life experience I've gained that helped make me who I am today. There are simply relationships, long or short-term, that you treasure even if they ultimately caused enormous pain.

The Tarts held an impromptu meeting this afternoon to schedule our next dinner, and it gave me an opportunity to reflect on how much my life has changed in recent years. I have a birthday this weekend and I have plans every day to spend time with good friends. I am so fortunate to have so many relationships that are unquestionably "worth the pain".

Quiz

You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational. Cultural Creative 81% Existentialist 75% Postmodernist 75% Idealist 50% Modernist 44% Romanticist 31% Materialist 25% Fundamentalist 0% What is Your World View? (updated) created with QuizFarm.com

Must be a heck of a back story...

Eduation in the state of Kansas

Kansas is busy redefining science. Perhaps Andy Borowitz has a point...who needs the twentieth century anyway?

mom's scumbag neighbor

How bad does an individual have to be before he qualifies as a scumbag?  Shooting arrows over the fence at pet dogs?  Running a quad-runner in circles around the back yard hour upon hour upon hour?  Racing his muffler-deprived truck up and down the street endlessly (a quiet residential street where children play outside)?  How about if as a youngster he steals a dirt bike and while trying to elude police he drives in front of a moving fire engine (then curses and threatens the rescue personnel with lawsuits while they are attempting to extricate him from under the vehicle)?  How about if he gets shot (in the foot) in a drive-by shooting a couple years later?  Or, as in this week's article in the paper, as an 18-year-old he is arrested for an alleged hate crime, assault with a deadly weapon, and vandalism?  Being the cynic I am, I don't believe his career as a lawbreaking menace to society is anywhere close to being over.  And, I don't think the $30,000 bail is going to keep him off the streets for long.  Did I mention that whenever law enforcement is called to visit him at home for some kind of disturbance (there are many) he assumes my mother/brother/sister-in-law are the ones who reported him?  Turns out there are other people (gasp) in the neighborhood who find his antics unacceptable. 

05/05/05

Suzanne already pointed out that today is Cinco De Mayo, so I'll add that because it is 2005, the date is 05/05/05. (Sticklers who insist that it is really 05/05/2005 should just keep quiet and roll with me here.) Next year we will get 06/06/06, in 2007 will be 07/07/07. You get the point. We will continue this pattern every year through 2012 (12/12/12), but then we'll have to wait another decade before the numbers line up so conveniently on 2/2/22. Then for the rest of the century we will have to patiently wait the eleven years it will take to reach 3/3/33, then 4/4/44...

Enjoy this part of the century folks. And remember to prepare those stories for the young folks about how (fill in the blank) happened in "aught-five" so they can marvel at how old you are.

the new Mustang

I drive a pickup truck, in fact have driven a series of Mazda trucks since 1980 when they were still sold under the Ford Courier brand.  It suits my needs.  A while back a friend asked my why I don't drive a car instead and I explained that I need a truck bed more often than a car trunk.  My frugal nature rebels at the notion of a second vehicle when I only need it for errands (I strictly telecommute for work). 

Having said that...when I see the new Ford Mustang I start salivating and the drool is difficult to control (it's embarrassing).  I don't love the silver color that most of them sold here seem to be, but as I was returning from a grocery run this weekend a new color pulled up alongside me in traffic and it definitely worked for me.  It was the 1960s Ford Green, light metallic.  I can't explain why I liked the color so much (I didn't like it when it was new in the 1960s) but maybe I just got nostalgic when I saw it. 

(Its my understanding that Steve sometimes lurks here so if you're reading...you're still wrong about the new Mustang...it rocks!  Fortunately your lapse in judgement will not affect your standing in the annual roca exchange though.)

Britney's baby

Now that's it's official I think we should have a moment of silence for Britney's baby. I shudder to think of the life in store for this child. Brit's comments leave me to conclude she has either very little formal education or just isn't very bright. Being dimwitted could explain why she prances around in nothing but her underwear (maybe she's just too dumb to figure out how to put the rest of her clothing on). She's made a career out of wearing fewer and fewer clothes, becoming more and more suggestive, to the point that she's become a glorified and expensive lip-syncing lap dancer. Be that good, or be that bad, that is what her fans have come to expect. Now that she's in mommy mode, what will her fans have to look forward to? Will they find anything appealing about the new Brit? Seems to me this could be the death knell for her career. So, there will be Brit and her baby, her career over, her husband probably itching to move on to bigger and better things. Anyone care to guess if the duo will still be married when the baby comes? That poor little baby. Sigh...maybe someone will hire her a great nanny, and one for the baby too!

MJ...what does it mean?

Have you ever taken a good look at Michael Jackson's clothing choices? It could be argued that Kobe Bryant is an entertainer, but when he was on trial he wore a suit to court. My guess is that if Gene Simmons had to go to court he wouldn't show up in full "Kiss" makeup. Yet, every day MJ shows up for court wearing his bizarre uniform. What is with the armband? The crest on the label pocket? The medals around his neck? The charm-laden chain around his waist? That doesn't even address the need for an umbrella lackey. Do you suppose that if as a young boy someone had presented a photograph of his current mutilated face he might have done things differently? Notwithstanding his insistence that he has only had two plastic surgeries to his nose to "help him breathe better" I suggest that the reason he spent years wearing a surgical mask in public was to hide his disfigured nose and the aftereffects of many, many, many surgeries. Is there a reasonable conclusion to draw other than he is a total and complete nutcase?

an "insertion" story

My brother called this morning to say he was listening to the radio on his way to school, and heard a story that he had to share with me. A man identifying himself as a nurse called in to say that a patient presented with severe abdominal pain of an intermittent nature, but happening with increasing frequency. Throughout the history-taking he would stop, clutch his lower abdomen and complain of agonizing pain. Now, as a medical transcriptionist I've heard enough stories that I had a feeling I knew where this story was going. Sure enough, the patient admitted to having inserted an item into an inappropriate orifice (for those of you requiring clarification...it was the rectum). What was the offending item? A cell phone. Reportedly he had set the phone to vibrate. Evidently the man's family was very close and when his wife couldn't reach him by phone, word spread among the relatives who also tried to reach him (ouch, ouch, ouch). As if that wasn't bad enough, the surgeon was most impressed that the patient continued to receive signal where the surgeon's phone would not, so he inquired about the patient's provider.

Bland

There is a billboard on my route home from work that advertises the services of an attorney.  It has a head and shoulders photo of an individual whom I assume to be the attorney, and the tagline:

Trust me. I know the law.

I imagine it is supposed to be comforting to his potential clients, but frankly, I find it disconcerting. I assume licensed, board-certified physicians know medicine. I assume CPAs know accounting and the tax code. And I assume practicing attorneys have completed law school and passed the bar exam--ostensibly evidence of knowledge of the law.

Unfortunately, this attorney's advertisement has not only failed to reassure me about his knowledge of the law and his ability to represent his clients, but has also made question my unspoken assumption that professionals are knowledgeable about the fields in which they have specialized.

It's like giving a presentation--don't tell your audience that you hate public speaking because you are horrible at it. Your inadequacy will be overlooked if you don't point it out.

The irony of the billboard is the attorney's name: Bland.

Now they tell me

A recent study suggests that first-born children often get better education and are more successful in the job market than their younger siblings.

They found that younger siblings tend to get less schooling than their elders and then end up with lower pay on average and were more likely to be in part-time work, Salvanes said. The findings were likely to hold true in other countries, he said.

“In terms of educational attainment, if you are the fourth born instead of the first, you get almost one year less education, and that is quite a lot,” Salvanes told Reuters.

And first-born children tend to weigh more at birth than their younger brothers and sisters, which is a good predictor for educational success, Salvanes said.

I am totally fine admitting my sister is smarter than me, but I wish they'd told me this before I spent all that money on tuition.

Does this mean I can stop doing my homework now?

Link: MSNBC - Why big sisters really may be smarter.

Is it just me?

I hate the ads for Lamisil.

They feature the animated creature that pries up the animated big toe nail and crawl into the animated nail bed. If you have a condition that causes bacterial growth under your toe nails, I'm happy that there is a treatment for you. The ad, however, is disgusting. I would not have known what the product's name was, but I just saw it. Again.

When the ads are on television I fast-forward when possible, or even leave the room. Now they are plastered all over the web. I can't even check the weather forecast without seeing it.

Ewww.

Workshops

I got a promotional flyer yesterday from a company called Santa Fe Workshops. They offer workshops on traditional and digital photography, ranging in length from a couple of days to several months.

The flyer reminded me of Carl's recent post, Days of Melancholy. I don't know that I have the entrepreneurial drive necessary to be a professional photographer, but I would love to improve my photography skills.

Every time a new advertisement arrives from Sante Fe Workshops, I read the details of each offering, carefully examining every photograph. I would so enjoy attending some of these sessions, but I have no idea how I would decide which ones to exclude.